There is just no time for anything anymore. I realize this is the dumbest complaint in the world because everybody and their grandma has this problem. Have you ever met anyone who has had enough hours in their day? No. I know this. But, Jesus... everything is just about rushing these days. Rush to get out of the house with everyone's teeth brushed, rush to get to work on time, rush to pick Sody up from school, rush to get dinner on the table and Sody in the bath and then, finally, wrestle Sody into bed. Bonus points if it's actually anywhere near her bedtime of 8 o'clock. And then all I can manage to do is zone out to some idiotic tv show, pass out, and start all over the next morning at 6 am. It's exhausting. And it's life. That's just the way it is, the way we live, the way of the world.
I'm not really into it, I gotta say. I do like being busy and I do like having a job, but the relentless schedule of constant motion seems hard to keep up with. Where is the time for my kid? My husband? For keeping my house in order, or working out, or cooking healthy meals, or - god forbid - a hobby for myself? Where do people find time for their lives?? I truly do not understand. Every moment is starting to feel accounted for, which scares me. I don't want to keep moving and moving and moving and then miss everything important. I need to take a breath. I need to have an afternoon with absolutely nothing on the agenda. I need to have many uninterrupted hours with my kid to do absolutely nothing with her but hang out together. Slow down, smell the flowers, blah blah blah.
How do we keep up on this hamster wheel? Or, WHY do we? Short of escaping to some bizarro locale in the middle of nowhere to live in a cheap little shack, I am struggling to figure out an answer to all of this. My saving grace is that I have an easy job that is close to home - one that I don't have to think about once I leave the building. How do working moms with actual stressful jobs and commutes even begin to do this? It's so puzzling. I feel like I am missing out on some key piece of wisdom about making it all work. Maybe there was something other moms studied in school and I was absent that day. Something about making all the little pieces of your life fit together nicely so that all the trains keep running smoothly. Because, really, I feel like my trains are seconds from derailing most days around here.
I wish I had an answer or answers but what you are experiencing is the way it is for those that work for a living. It actually goes farther than that--some of us reitred have the same feeling! Why can't I just sit and read or whatever?? I guess I will have to answer that for myself. Love,
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