So I went out the other night. This was remarkable not only because I don’t often go out at night anymore, but also because I am hardly ever without the baby, period. I guess that is weird. It doesn’t feel weird until I say it in a sentence like that – we are always together. I used to think people who were never apart from their kids were definitely strange. That it was sad they didn’t understand the need for time alone, for time with their spouses, for the time to take care of themselves so that they would be in shape to take care of the kids. But here I am. Intellectually I understand the need for all these things – and I do get all them, not in big doses, but I do - but when it comes down to it, in a nutshell, I find her hard to leave.
One explanation for this is that she is just such an insanely easy baby. She is happy all the damn time! Good sleeper, good eater, so friendly and good-natured. People really do stop me all the time to say what a happy baby I have. But beyond all that…before she was born, I just think I didn’t expect to like being around her quite so much. I knew I would love her more than anything I had ever laid eyes on, but I guess I didn’t know how much I would just plain like her, too. She is fun. She makes other things more fun when she is there. So leaving her behind – even for a few hours – isn’t easy. Especially when she is bawling her eyes out and reaching for the door when you leave, like the other night.
All that said, it was delicious being out in the world by myself. Old friends, cold beer and live music is pretty much always a home run, and this night didn’t disappoint. There was a definite air of going back in time. As my friend TaggyLee put it, “Tonight we are partying like it’s 2003!” And we did, and we made the most of being out, and we came home too late and paid the price the next day. But it was worth it. Fun to step back into my old life for the evening but I wouldn’t trade my new life for anything. I mean, look – this little face didn’t exist in 2003 – why go back??